Skipping into Doom
by RavenclawGryffindor35
Summary: The door said: Enter strangers but take heed, For inside are worlds in need. If you hinder, but do not aid Your memory will surely fade. If you seek behind this door Worlds that are unlike yours, You would be in luck my Friend. But will yours have a happy end? "OoOh, spooky," I said as I walked past the door to get me a juice box. Warning: Crack, Self-insert
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

It was a dark and stormy night . . . oh wait I just have my eyes closed, oh and I seem to have my PC blaring the sounds of thunder storms . . . it also appeares to be day.

I stood with all the grace of a new born hellbeast and blundered straight into a closed door with all the wisdom of a deranged mountain troll.

"OW! Who put that door there!?" I said manically.

It was not my door, I noticed. But a large, purple one with a plaque on it that read:

_Enter stranger but take heed,_

_For inside are worlds in need_

_I__f you hinder, but do not aid,_

_Your memory will surely fade._

_for if you seek behind this door_

_Worlds that are unlike yours,_

_You would be in luck my friend._

_But will there be a happy end?_

"OoOh, spooky," I said as I walked past the door to get me a juice box.

Only my bedroom door was _gone._

There was just a blank unblemished stretch of wall where the door frame was prior. Definitely the work of fairies.

"Well stuff me with dressing and call me a turkey, it's gone!" I exclaimed. "Oh well."

I turned around and scampered toward the window, completely ignoring the now aggressively vibrating purple door in the center of the room, (Fairies definitely had something to do with it).

'Sure it's a little inconvenient, but anything for my dearest juice boxes!' I mused, jumping out of the window.

* * *

Rubbing the sore spot on my side while grumbling more then Kreacher in a house full of mudbloods, I opened the front door of my house . . . Or I would've if my front door wasn't now purple, with an annoying silver plaque on it, with an equally annoying poem on that plaque that was silver!

Grinding my poor little teeth I spoted a chainsaw on my neighbors front lawn. Laughing manically I walked up to my neighbors front door and knocked.

"Oh hidey ho neighbor! What can I do for you?" My neighbor asked.

"Can I borrow that them there chainsaw by any chance?"

"Well I don't see why not. But that isn't my chainsaw," he replied gesturing the chainsaw.

"Thanks, perhaps it's a wild chainsaw."

"Maybe. Out of idle curiosity what do you need it for?"

"Fairies," I said solemnly.

He nodded sagely. "Be real careful then."

"I will and may your Garden ever flourish, and the flowers always bloom." I answered with the solemness of a soldier going to war.

"Yeah you too, see you around kid."

Then we both went our separate ways, me with a chainsaw in hand, him with a feeling of foreboding.

* * *

Walking up to my front door wielding a wild chainsaw to battle fairies was not something I thought I would be doing today, but this is far grander than anything I could I have come up with anyway.

As I marched toward the purple door of doom I revved up in the wild chainsaw of death.

It was a standoff.

Chainsaw against door.

Human against fairies.

Who would win? Nobody knew the answer.

But the fairies were apparently tired of my sugary fruit tarty butt because the door squeaked open.

I could see the familiar entryway into my home and thought, 'aw yes, time to get me some juice!'

So like the complete idiot that I am, I skipped right through the open door into darkness.


	2. The Deranged Woodpecker

**Thank you to everyone who favorited and followed.**

* * *

Chapter 1

The Deranged Woodpecker

There was a loud raping sound and a screeching, not unlike that of a deranged woodpecker. I burrowed under a thin blanket and a lumpy pillow that I soon came to realize were not my own.

Peeking over the covers like a groundhog I realized two very important things:

This is not my bed nor my room. And, this is a cupboard under stairs.

Then the pieces fell into place.

_A cupboard under stairs, thin arms, knobbly knees, black hair, screeching, purple door, silver plaque, annoying poem,_ Fairies.

'Holy dimension travel Batman! I'm Harry Potter! Sheet!'

"Get up you lazy bum and look after the bacon! I've already told you once already, do you want me to get Vernon?!" Petunia 'The Deranged Woodpecker' Dursley screeched.

_SHEET!_

Scrambling more then a terrified Ronald Weasley who just saw a spider, I managed to get dressed in record time and practically leaped out of the cupboard, and rushed into the kitchen to babysit the bacon.

The Dursleys looked like an uptight, unpleasant family in my opinion. From the way they dressed to the way they held their silverware practically screamed uptightness, stuckupieness, and unpleasantness . . . well Mr. and Mrs. Dursley anyway. Dudley ate like an ogre and looked like a Cabbage Patch Kid who had never been told 'no' for anything in his life. Spoiled, that is what Dudley is, spoiled.

As I finished my breakfast it occurred to me.

I never got my juice box.

Just like that my mood soured.

* * *

_I was trapped, trapped between two smelly trolls. But I had to be brave. Brave, that's a word that one does not often think about the meaning of, bravery, courage, valor, all traits of a hero. A good hero. All have decerted me. I fear for my livelihood, my sanity, my- oh gosh! I think one of them is drooling! Eww! No! I am an adult dam it! I shall prevail! I shall be victorious! I SHALL-_

"We're here! Get ready to get out boys."

_An unexpected saviour appeared, an angel in disguise. Petunia Dursley may have interrupted my mental monologue but she has given me hope! A way out! The clouds have cleared! The birds sing in the golden rays of the sun! Thank heavens! God be praised! The stars smile upon me! The sun-_

"Boy! Get out of the car now! You won't be lazing around in here!" Like a sharp needle Vernon Dursley popped my bubble. I could hear the Cabbage Patch Kid and his sidekick Rat Face snickering.

At the zoo I avoided Dudley and Spears Polka (or what ever his name is) like the plague. So far they seemed far more interested in ogling the animals than tormenting 'Harry.' Which was perfectly alright with me.

Watching the Dursley's and Pears Vulcan pointing and squinting at the animals made the temptation to walk up to a zoo employee and tearfully inform them that a white, middle-class, Suburban, family had escaped from their cages, excruciatingly strong.

They decided to get ice cream. So we walked up to the ice cream stand, Dudley got some giant layered monstrosity, Pete Square got frozen dung on a stick for all I know (I spaced out), and before the Mr. Dursley could pay for ice cream the smiling ice cream lady asked what I wanted, so they got me a lemon popsicle, it wasn't a juice box but it will do rather well.

Dudley predictably threw a temper tantrum when there wasn't enough ice cream on top of the knicker boker? bokerknocker? bippity boppity boo? Ekky-ekky-ekky-ekky-z'Bang, zoom-Boing, z'nourrrwringnmmm- you know what, I really don't care to properly remember the name of that ice cream. When there was not enough cream of ice on top of his ice cream. So they bought him another and I was allowed to finish the first . . . it was very good. Now I wish i remembered the name.

Up next was the reptile house.

To release, or not to release the boa constrictor, that is the question.

* * *

**Posted: July 23, 2019**


	3. I'm a not so Charming Snake Charmer

Chapter Two

I'm a not so Charming Snake Charmer

Walking up to the snake prison I was filled with nervous excitement and wonder. I might just have my first experience with magic soon . . . stage 1 of my genius plan to become a supervillain (gain superpowers) was soon to be underway, stage 2 would involve me finding an evil lair. At one of the stages (though I don't know what number yet) involves me evilly taking control of the worlds juice supply, so that every one will have surrender to me so that they don't go insane from juice depravation. My plan although vague was genius, if I do say so myself!

I was circling around the reptile house on the hunt for a boa constrictor, no The Boa Constrictor, when I came across a very sad looking python. _"Mr. Python why_ _are you sad?"_ I asked in parseltongue . . . I think.

_"Why how dare you! That's Lady Python to you! I am most definitely a female and I do have a name thank you very much! My name is Lady Forrester. Filth!"_ The most definitely female python replied angrily.

_"Why I'm sorry Lady Forrester Filth. I meant you no offense!"_

_"Don't get smart with me, brat! You most certainly did mean it! You just called me filth! Why any other speaker would be honored to speak with such a sophisticated individual such as myself!"_ Here she rose up a couple of feet so that I now had to look up at her. I feel that she would have done a hair flip if given the option. _"But all will be forgiven if you set me free."_

I looked at her incredulously. _"What?"_

_"You heard me."_

_"You want me to set you free?" _I asked her._ "How?"_

_"You must have magic. You are a speaker after all."_

I was about to reply when a shout distracted me. "DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY! COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T _BELIEVE_ WHAT IT'S DOING!" Oh, crap. Curse you Spare Pokadot!

"Out of the way, you," Said Dudley as he trampled me with this giant elephant feet.

"Ouch!" Says I.

"OI! RUDE AND NOT GINGER!" Exclaimed Lady Forrester disapprovingly.

"I is a snake!" Said random background snake number eleven.

That is when all hell broke loose, and when I say all hell broke loose I mean every reptile in that godforsaken reptile house escaped. Every. Last. One.

Pandemonium reigned supreme. Everyone was trying to get out of there at once. Children were crying, women were screaming, men were yelling, snakes were hissing loudly about freedom, the zoo staff were running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to keep the reptiles from escaping. Chaos.

I laughed. This was the most fun I'd had in a very long time.

* * *

**Posted: August 1, 2019**


	4. Rat Face McGee is a Blabbermouth

Chapter Three

Rat Face McGee is a Blabbermouth

Everyone was completely baffled as to where the glass went, and as to how it went missing. Well, everyone except me.

The zoo suspecting Foul Play ended up calling the police who after asking everyone a few questions and reviewing security footage of the incident were also baffled.

Since there was no evidence that anyone present had caused the mass breakout, or that the enclosure had been tampered with, (although there had been tense moment when I was under the intense gaze of the officer in charge, and another one he gave me a knowing look,) the police promised to investigate it further and let everybody leave.

In the car Dudley was still in a state of shock and blubbered on about how he was nearly squashed to death, and how a venomous rattlesnake nearly bit his heel, (I saw said rattlesnake on the other side of the room chilling by the way,) soon after Dudley's monologue Rat Face McGee opened his big fat trap, "Harry was talking to the snakes, weren't you Harry." _Sheet._ "He even laughed when they were set loose. Didn't you Harry."

That got Vernon's attention.

"I have odd coping mechanisms," I said in a small voice.

After Mrs. Polkiss picked up Tattle Tale McGee Vernon who was turning an alarming shade of purple turned to me apparently so angry he could hardly speak, "Go- cupbourd- stay- no meals."

As I sat in the darkness with the abyss calling my name I pondered my time here in the realm of muggles and magic and concluded that Vernon's face turns a passing shade of Twilight Sparkle when he is angry.

* * *

When the long punishment was over, I was no closer to figuring out how to take over the juice supply of the world than I was before I was imprisoned. Which is quite distressing really, I may need to adjust my plans...

The summer holidays started.

I spent a lot of time hiding from Dudley's gang. Dudley's gang consisted of five individuals: Dudley, Spear, Denise, McElroy, and Ramsey, who all seemed rather interested in playing a prolonged game of tag . . . with them _all_ being It . . . and me _not_ being It. Which sucked.

Time passed slowly. The Dursley's all seemed to think that I would be attending a school called Kidney Stone High the local public school, whereas Dudley was accepted to Smellings a school that Vernon used to attend. Ratty McGee was also attending Smellings. I of course had a different path.

One day Dudley who was chortling at the thought of Kidney Stone High said, "They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Kidney Stone," only he kept saying Stonewall for some reason, "want to come upstairs and practice?"

This is one of my favorite parts of the first books and I was determined to quote word for word Harry's response. "You're a wanker," I said. Then I ran, laughing manically as I did so.

_Nailed it._

* * *

**Posted: August 6, 2019**


	5. Two Letters are Better Then None?

Chapter Four

Two are Letter Than None?

Today was the day! The day I would get my Hogwarts letter! I was completely certain this time, I mean I was sure yesterday and ereyesterday (yes that is a real word), but it would definitely come today!

I heard the mail flap and could barely contain a squeal.

"Get the mail Dudley," Vernon said.

"Make Harry get it," Dudley replied.

"Get the mail, Harry." Those four little words were exactly what I was waiting for, then I was off faster then a Vashta Nerada at a all you can eat meat buffet.

Tripping over the rug on my way to the front door my eyes narrowing in on the small stack of mail. Flipping through the letters I saw it, an envelope of heavy parchment. This is it! I thought gleefully, though soon my glee was replaced by confusion.

_There were_ two _envelopes of heavy parchment . . . one addressed to Dudley Dursley._

_Cornelius Fudge!_ I mentally cursed.

"Hurry up boy! What are you doing, Checking for letter bombs?" Vernon Dursley said laughing at his own joke.

He won't be laughing for long.

After a moment of deliberation, I decided to take the mail out to living room and hand it off like normal.

_Let them deal with it._

Gluing my eyes to the television screen I waited. The shuffling of letters stopped. I glanced over, Vernon was frowning, he squinted his beady little eyes at the two abnormally thick envelopes he was holding, both sealed with wax bearing a coat of arms . . . the Hogwarts coat of arms.

I watched the television unseeingly. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. This ought to be good.

"Petunia," he called. "Come take look at this." Petunia leant over his shoulder to peer at the two envelopes curiously. Glancing at her I saw she now had crease between her eyebrows and frown on her face. Worried. She was definitely worried. Their eyes met, they seemed to have a silent conversion. Then Vernon handed her one of the envelopes. Exchanging one last look they opened the letters.

Petunia's eyes quickly scanned the letters contents. She screamed. Vernon's face turned Fifty shades of purple.

_Well this is going to be interesting._

"What- What is it?" Dudley asked looking thoroughly spooked._ Well so would I if my mom screamed like a banshee and my father turned into an eggplant. Or is he a purple walrus? Hmm I'll have to think on that. I wonder if any of the neighbors are going to call the police because of that scream._

"Nothing! It's- it's nothing Dudley darling. Your father and I just need to discuss some things," she said. "Now why don't you go outside and play with your friends? Harry go weed the garden."

I walked out of the room, but had no intention going out to weeding the garden . . . There could be Jabberwocks out there!

"But mum, I want to read that letter!" Dudley whined.

"JUST DO AS YOUR MOTHER SAYS!" Vernon snapped back.

There was a shocked silence. Vernon never raised his voice to Dudley, it just didn't happen. Until now.

Dudley trampled out of the living room looking shell-shocked.

Our eyes locked. He glared at me. Then knelt down by the door pressing his ear to the keyhole. I rolled my eyes, then I walked over to the front door, opened it, waited a second or two then closed it again. With any luck they should think we left the house. I knelt next to him and waited.

* * *

**AN: Sorry this is a little late. I ****wasn't completely sure if i wanted Dudley to get a Hogwarts letter, but the idea wouldn't leave me alone. I also haven't seen very many stories where he received one, so yeah. hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

**Posted: August 16, 2019**


	6. A Discussion of Letters

Chapter Five

A Discussion of Letters

We didn't have to wait long.

"What are we going to do Vernon?" Petunia said sounding nervous.

"I don't know Pet, I just don't know." Vernon replied. I could hear the click of his shoes as he paced the length of the room. "They're not going. That's for sure."

"But- But what if they send one of _them_ over here? I mean what would we even tell them?"

There was a long pause. Dudley shifted beside me to press his ear more firmly to the keyhole.

"We will think about that later," He finally responded. "I think a better question is how did this even happen? _It_ isn't contagious is it?" The clicking of his shoes stopped.

"I-" she took a deep breath, and spoke more firmly, "no. Not that I know of anyway. I spent a lot of time with_ her_ as a child and I never showed any signs of _that._"

The clicking resumed. "Maybe- Maybe it's like a recessive gene or something," he said slowly.

The Silence was longer this time. Dudley looked about ready to burst into the room and demand answers, but Petunia broke the silence suddenly, sounding uncertain. "What will we do with these." I could hear the sound of paper shuffling, and knew what was to come. I could stop it, Dudley and I could probably wrestle the letters out of their hands, but I was reluctant. _I haven't been hit while here yet, and I don't want to be hit either._

"Burn them, I don't want Dudley or the boy to stumble across them."

There was a pause before she responded. "Should we write back, tell them that we don't want-"

"No, if we don't answer maybe they'll give up."

"Vernon, I don't want to argue with you, but what if _they_ assume we haven't gotten the letters when we don't respond . . . and send someone over."

Silence.

"Vernon?"

"I don't want my son to be exposed to do _that_." His voice was much quieter then it was a couple of minutes ago. "I don't want to lose him."

"Neither do I, but we may not get a choice."

"We should."

"I know, but just because we should doesn't mean we will."

That seemed like the end to the conversation, so I quietly stood and silently made my way out the front door. I now had more on my mind then I did previously.

Things are very different then I remember them to be.

I needed to do something repetitive and difficult while I thought. Weeding suddenly sounded like a great idea. Jabberwocks be damned.

* * *

I had a dream that night that in a castle somewhere in Scotland a rather severe looking woman was frowning down at a long scroll of parchment, on that parchment there was a long list of names.

She sighed as she circled three names on the long list. "There's always at least two sets of reluctant parents, who don't want to send their kids to Hogwarts. The stupidity of it," she muttered. "They don't seem to realize how dangerous not learning to control your magic can be! Do they seriously think that their child's magic will just go away if their kids don't know how to use it?" Her lips thinned. "Yes, they probably do." She shook her head disapprovingly and went back to work.

She had visits to make.

* * *

**Posted: August 21, 2019**


	7. A Snatching of Letters

Chapter Six

A Snatching of Letters

Dudley was like a fish out of water. Because Dudley wasn't getting what Dudley wanted, Dudley always got what Dudley wanted . . . until now anyway. Dudley wanted to read those mystery letters that arrived yesterday, but Dudley wasn't allowed to. Dudley wanted his second bedroom back, but he wasn't getting it. Dudley was shocked and confused. Dudley wasn't used to being told "no" for anything. Dudley was floundering.

_Better he learns now that you don't always get what you want, then not learn it at all._

I got up from my new bed in my new room, and quickly looked around to make sure there wasn't any obnoxious purple doors with equally obnoxious silver plaques on it. There weren't any, I relaxed.

_I wonder where that loose floorboard is. I could hide jellybeans in there, and chocolate, I really love chocolate. I think It was under the bed? I'll look for it later._

Breakfast was a quiet affair. Vernon and Petunia Dursley still seemed to be in shock. They both (Vernon inparticular) stared quite a lot at Dudley. Dudley looked rather unnerved by it all.

"So, read any interesting letters lately?" I asked. All three of them turned to me. I got no answer. I was ignored. I hate being ignored, but I hate vomit flavored jelly beans more. Oh, and pears, I really hate pears.

Later that morning a still discombobulated Vernon got the mail. _Didn't Dudley get it in the books?_

"Pet- PETUNIA!" Vernon bellowed. "THERE'S FOUR MORE LETTERS!"

Dudley leapt to his feet and ran out of the the family room as fast as his little plastic cabbage patch legs could carry him. I decided to join him. It is after all rather annoying waiting around for something to happen.

Dudley went careening into his father. Vernon was knocked unsteady, and raised the mail high above his head as he wobbled. Petunia screeched. And I taking a running leap pounced. I snatched the mail from Vernon's sausage-like fingers. Then Dudley and I swiftly unlocked the front door and were out of there before anyone could say 'the Hogwarts Express.' Petunia and Vernon's shocked expressions burned into my memory as we ran.

_Well this certainly is different. I hope that this decision doesn't come back to bite me. If it does, oh well._

* * *

**AN: I m****eant to post this yesterday, oops.**

**Posted: August 31 2019**


	8. An Opening of Letters

Chapter Seven

An Opening of Letters

Dudley and I stopped running when we reached the little playground. This playground would be the same one that Harry would haunt when he was feeling particularly emo, as well as the playground near which Dudley and Harry would get attacked by the Dementors. _Hopefully that won't happen this time._ I felt that this was perhaps an obvious hiding place, but sometimes people don't look in the most obvious places first, because they think that it is so obvious a hiding place that their quarry would not be so foolish as to hide there . . . we also couldn't go much further because Dudley looked on the verge of a heart attack. I was also a bit winded.

We hide in one of those tube-tunnel thingies that all self-respecting playgrounds seem to have. Once hidden, I flipped through the mail carefully removing the four letters of interest. There were two envelopes addressed to:

_Mr. D. Dursley_

_The Middle Sized Bedroom_

_4 Privet Drive Little Whinging_

_ Surrey_

The other two envelopes were addressed to:

_Mr. H. Potter_

_The Smallest Bedroom_

_4 Privet Drive_

_Little Whinging_

_Surrey_

I tossed Dudley his letters, then opened my own. It was exactly has one would expect:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

_of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore

_(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,__Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of wizards)_

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and Equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We wait your owl by no later than July 31st.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

_Deputy headmistress_

I pulled out the the enclosed list of school supplies and read that too.

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

_of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

UNIFORM

First-year students will require:

1\. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

2\. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

3\. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

4\. First-year students will requir One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags

COURSE BOOKS

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

_The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)_ by Mira Goshawk

_A History of Magic_ by Bathilda Bagshot

_Magical Theory_ by Adalbert Waffling

_A Biginners' Guide to Transfiguration_ by Emeric Switch

_One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_ by Phyllida Spore

_Magical Drafts and Potions_ by Arsenius Jigger

_Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ by Newt Scamander

_The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_ by Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT

1 wand

1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

1 set glass or crystal phials

1 telescope

1 set brass scales

Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS

There was also a ticket for the Hogwarts Express in the envelope

I then looked up at Dudley to take in his reaction, he was frowning down at his own letters he seemed to compare them for a minute then he looked up at me and asked "this is someone's idea of a joke, right? I mean its got to be. Magic," his voice lowered for that particular word. "Isn't real!"

"Maybe," I responded. "But, well. If it was a joke or a lie, why would your parents freak out so badly? I mean think about it. They are obsessed with being normal, freaking out so badly over some practical joke or weird stunt isn't really normal. Neither is it normal for kids to be punished for saying the word 'magic'," Dudley winced. "SEE! That isn't a normal reaction! We were punished like it was a bad word!" I am assuming he and Harry were punished, because I haven't lived with them long enough to know for sure.

Dudley looked back down at his letters, frowning. "Alright, say it is real. Why haven't we heard of 'Hogwarts' before? Or of magic being real?"

"The witch burnings!" Dudly gave me a dubious look. "No, really! In the Middle Ages people got burned at the stake or executed in other horrifying ways for practicing Magic! The Magical World must have decided to hide themselves so they wouldn't get in a repeat of the incident!"

"Then," Dudley's voice had grown quieter. "Then, how are we supposed to find out if it's true?"

And just like that, the lightning bulb in my brain produced an idea. "Mrs. Figg! I've heard Mrs. Figg mumbling about a Dumbledore before!" This was of course a complete lie. But you can't make pancakes without breaking a few eggs . . . mmm pancakes. I sighed. Now in addition to me juice box, I want pancakes.

"Come on! Lets go see Mrs. Figg!" I didn't have the faintest idea of where I was going, but I figured I'd keep an eye out for cats.

* * *

**AN: I got my first review! Thank you to the Guest reviewer for reviewing!**

**Posted: September 6, 2019**


	9. Mrs Figg is Being a Very Cryptic Lady

Chapter Eight

Mrs. Figg is Being a Very Cryptic Lady

Mrs. Figg was being no help at all. Not only was she pretending to not know anything about magic, she was also continuing the act of 'batty old lady.' Typical. I knew that she was _pretending_ to not know anything due to her constant shifting, the moving picture that I could just make out on top of the book shelf, the _History of Magic_ by Bathilda Bagshot in the bottom corner of that bookshelf, plus. You know, cannon.

'_Although,' _I thought glancing over at Dudley. '_Cannon doesn't seem too_ accurate right now.'

"I'll just pop off to the kitchen to get us some tea and cake, I think. Miss Fuddy Paws keep our guests company," Mrs. Figg said abruptly getting up from her rather comfortable looking armchair and heading to the kitchen.

I eyed the cat suspiciously.

Dudley turned to me.

"She doesn't know anything," he said. "You heard wrong."

"That's what she wants us to think," I retorted. "She's too shifty to be completely honest. What I don't understand is why she's lying at all. It shouldn't be about keeping this information within the magical community, as we've both shown her our letters that invite us to magic school. Which therefore means that we're magical. It just doesn't make any sense."

I once again glanced at the cat that sat unnaturally still in front of us.

"Maybe she's afraid of getting into trouble for saying something," Dudley offered.

"Maybe," I responded absent-mindedly.

Something was nagging me about that cat. Something important. But what was it. She seemed almost familiar. But why?

We had sat in silence for a few minutes, when it occurred to me that Mrs. Figg had been gone longer then was strictly necessary to simply make tea and to slice a couple pieces of cake. I was about to mention this, but Mrs. Figg chose that moment to walk back into the room.

"Here's the tea dears," Mrs. Figg said placing a tray laden with four cups of tea and four slices of cake.

Why are there **_four_** cups of tea.

I had a horrible feeling that I was forgetting something. Something important. I scrutinized the cat once again. Maybe it was- No, the cat wasn't McGonagall. This cat didn't have the spectacle-like markings around her eyes. I felt both relieved and disappointed at this fact.

"Uh, Mrs. Figg, why are there four cups of tea?" I asked.

"Someone will be stoping by shortly to answer all of your questions," she said cryptically.

"Who?" Dudley and I asked at the same time.

"A teacher from Hogwarts, of course. The deputy headmistress if I'm not mistaken," she stated casually.

_What?!_

* * *

**Posted: September 27, 2019**


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